Desire, Inner Dais and Doubts.


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Today, is ‘Mantra’ and quote day in my house. If you don’t know what a mantra is, it’s essentially repeating something over and over, until you accept yourself it is true.

E.G. ”I believe in me’ type thing. The idea being you repeat it often enough until it drowns out the voice that answers back ‘Don’t lie to yourself. You don’t. You suck.’

If you like, it’s the mental equivalent of writing something out 100 times. You can go whole guru and put notes everywhere if you wish, but the idea is, it helps you drown out the inner critic. Which if you’re a writer or artist, shows up at 10 times the size of your traditional inner critic, to compensate for the days you think you’re a god or goddess.

I often struggle with inspirational quotes, because my inner comedian, whose slightly cynical, feels the need to answer back with a wise crack. I am Welsh, we come, those of us with a higher IQ with inbuilt sarcasm. Those without that IQ come equipped at the least with the need, to put someone back in their place. Firmly. Including ourselves.

Today, I am reading the 10 inspirational quotes on my wall (on canvas obviously, in pen, but on a canvas damn it.) and my brain is saying ‘That’d look better, if your house looked like Nadia G’s Bitchin Kitchen set’ and the other part of my brain is replying ‘You ain’t Nadia G sweetheart. Not in your wildest dreams and post Swan surgery.’

Which is kind of annoying. As I really like Bitchin Kitchen,I like her shoes, I like the show style. Yet now I know, later when I watch it, that inner little ‘Dai’ with his imaginary Pint, kicking on the bar stool, will be whispering ‘See, told you, you’re not even blonde.’

What is the moral of this story? There is one law in life, she kind of helpfully, jokingly refers to in the cookery show. Her ‘dream’ apparently was to be a rock chic, she ended up being a cookery host. She’s a very pretty woman. Yet she has apparently not had Christian Bale, her crush she refers to constantly. Women always want what they can’t have and to be someone they are not. Even with 10 inspirational quotes. I should write more quotes. And maybe do some lines, No?